Gathering in groups is an important part of Pride, rooted in protest and celebration for the LGBTQ+ community.

And this year is a big one, with Pride in London (July 2) celebrating its 50th anniversary, Pride Edinburgh (June 25) its 25th, Chester Pride (August 13-14) its 10th – and many more parades, festivals and parties across the UK and Ireland returning after pandemic setbacks.

But what if you don’t like big crowds? What if small, sober and relaxed is more your cup of tea – can you still join in with Pride?

A bit of calm

“It’s great to have the ‘big crowd’ celebrations at a Pride parade, as it shows the size of support and helps draw attention to the cause. I think it’s really important to celebrate Pride, as it’s been a long road to enjoying the freedoms we have today – and there’s still work to do,” says neurodiverse and gender-fluid British author and scriptwriter Lydia Christie (@lchristie.uk) from Essex.

“The difficulty for someone like me, who has always found it a challenge to remain in a crowd for any length of time, is it takes several hours waiting for the parade, watching it and then trying to leave a busy area,” adds Christie, whose short story collection, Magic Tales & Other Stories, is released on Kindle on July 1.

Ray Larman, who runs The Bookish Type (an affiliate of ethical book-buying website Bookshop.org, which supports indie bookshops) in Leeds with her partner Nicola, says: “Pride is an important celebration for the LGBTIQA+ community, but it’s vital to recognise we’re all individuals from different backgrounds, with different personalities and needs – not everyone is up for a big boozy party or noisy march. It’s good to have alternative, low/no cost celebration events to bring people together, like film screenings, talks and picnics.”

Literature is at the heart of Bookish Type events, and they’re all about creating “friendly and welcoming” spaces, “offering an alternative to the usual LGBTQIA+ night-time scene centred on bars and clubs”, notes Larman.

“Throughout Pride season, we’ll be doing Queer History Tours. We’ve also got a Second Hand Sunday coming up [selling pre-loved LGBTQ+ books], and more Bookish Strolls [group walks with chats about books]. The bookshop will be open during Pride in Leeds [August 7], offering a bit of a breather from the main celebrations.”

Beyond bars

Maryann Wright launched Sappho Events (sapphoevents.co.uk) in January 2021, providing sober social events for LGBTQ+ women, trans and non-binary people centred on things like crafts, film and literature, gaming, dating and wellbeing.

“The main reason I set up Sappho was to give people an alternative to loud, noisy, alcohol-fuelled spaces,” says Wright. “Because of the nature of our events, you’re there to share an activity and make conversation – but the point of being there is not necessarily the conversation, as sometimes that’s the daunting bit.”

Since launching in London, Wright has received countless messages from people saying how much the events have meant to them, and recently secured a grant from the LGBT+ Futures Fund, run by Consortium, to expand across the UK, with plans to launch in three other major cities. Sappho’s Pride plans will be announced soon, but Wright says to expect similar vibes to their regular events.

“One thing that keeps coming home for me is just how much these kinds of spaces are needed,” adds Wright, who notes it’s not just about organising events – there’s also a huge need for more LGBTQ+ venues.

“Pride is a protest, and always will be. But in terms of the celebration component, communities gather in different ways, and we have to make sure we’re providing truly accessible ways people can celebrate. I’m really passionate about creating spaces where people can feel part of the community, celebrate their queerness and feel connected, but in a way that suits their interests and needs.”

A chance to connect

“Quieter events can be a lot of fun, and are often more intimate,” says Larman. “They can offer greater opportunities for making meaningful connections and forming community.”

This is something Sheldon Goodman, a public historian who runs various LGBTQ+ tours (sheldonkgoodman.com), has found. He originally downsized his events and shifted some online due to the pandemic, and discovered notable benefits.

“When you have smaller groups, people don’t feel so intimidated, and you’re not rushing from stop to stop. I did a walking tour of the queer history of the city of London the other week that had about 15 people on it, and in between stops, everyone was chatting with each other,” Goodman reflects. “I think with a big group, sometimes it’s too overwhelming. Whereas when you keep it small and intimate, not only is it more personable, but people feel more at ease and relaxed. Having that kind of thing is really important, because it’s ultimately all about a sense of community and belonging.”

Goodman says he’ll be dodging the big London Pride crowds this summer – on July 2 he’ll running a ‘Death in the British Museum’ tour (see eventbrite.co.uk for details).

A whole new online world

Christie is keen to celebrate Pride online. “I think it would be great to watch a livestream of the London Pride parade, especially as it’s the 50th anniversary,” they say. “The rise of online events during the pandemic has shown us what can be done online if people put their minds to it. If Pride events are livestreamed online, it’s helpful for other people like me. It might also help to attract the international LGBTQ+ community and their allies, who couldn’t otherwise attend.”

There’s no word yet on whether Pride in London will be livestreamed, but keep an eye on the official YouTube channel for updates (youtube.com/prideinlondon).

Shifting things online has enabled Goodman to increase the accessibility of his tours, too – whether that’s enabling people to watch or join remotely, or creating events that are entirely online (such as his ‘The LGBTQ+ Dead’ tour of ‘global graves of historical members of the queer community’).

“And if I’ve got a glass of wine on the go, I’m sharing my evening with people too. We have a bit of a jolly afterward – almost like a virtual pub,” says Goodman.

“I think that’s one of the positives of the pandemic. It has made people think about things like accessibility, and how people use spaces – and that sense of community is what it’s all about.”