David Beckham branded his wife Victoria an “****hole” and ordered her to “come home happier” in a cheeky note left on the lunch he made her after she had a “grumpy” moment.

Thankfully the 46-year-old retired footballer’s tactics to cheer up the fashion designer, 47, appear to have worked, as she not only shared a picture of his handiwork on social media, she thanked him for it too.

“Even when I’m grumpy he looks after me! Thank you for my lunch @davidbeckham,” the former Spice Girl wrote on Instagram Stories on Wednesday.

In the picture, you could see David’s note, which was written on an old-school post-it note and placed on top of a Tupperware box.

The note read: “Enjoy lunch ****hole… Come home happier :) lots of love you know who.. [sic]”

While his words aren’t exactly Shakespeare, he must be doing something right as the couple, who share children Brooklyn, 22, Romeo, 19, Cruz, 16, and Harper, 10, together, are still loved up after getting married in 1999.

Whatever the secret is, Victoria doesn’t intend to impart any pearls to their children.

Speaking to The Wall Street Journal in October, she explained: “I remember Geri [Horner] saying to me, ‘When you get a TV, you get a TV manual. But when you have a baby there’s no manual. You just got to figure that s**t out for yourself.’ That’s the truth.

“We offer advice. There’s a difference between offering advice and being there to support them. If you offer it and they want to take it, that’s great. Sometimes they want it and sometimes they don’t. And that’s OK, too.”